Confused.

I have been thinking a lot lately about vaccinating Bean. A few friends of mine have been asking me my opinion on them, and I still am not sure. In the first two years of life, babies receive 11 and at most up to 20 shots. I have been doing some research about infant immune systems, and I feel that the main concern among parents is the face that babies cannot handle the amount of shots they are given. It is a short amount of time. I want the BEST for her, but I am concerned about this. She has her first round on the 29th, and I feel like I should be more prepared. 

To Vaccinate or Not? This is the article that I was reading, one of many I have been scoping out over the past couple weeks. I am torn! I know it will come with many pointed fingers, and a lot of arguments, but like I said, I want to do what's best. I know I can't ask a doctor about this. I need to seek out advice. 

Weird.

I still am getting used to breastfeeding in public. Most people don't really look twice at me when I am, but there have been a few times where it's been SUPER awkward. We were at church last night, and the pastor came up to my husband Josh and was telling him this story about one time he had a meeting with a husband and wife, and she was breastfeeding. He said the office was chilly and he thought that she was covering the baby up, so he went up to her and lifted up the blanket...AND SHE WASN'T COVERING THE BABY! He said that her and her husband were cracking up and thought it was totally hilarious, but he was mortified. It was like one of those things where your brain tells you that it's not okay, but your ny body just does it anyways. Ha, he told me to stich on my cover "I'm breastfeeding under here" with a big arrow pointing down. Funny guy.

Josh and I have been slacking in the whole "shopping for a house" thing. We are supposed to move out of here at the end of December, and haven't really started looking at places yet. We know that the option for an FHA loan isn't possible because Josh doesn't have 2 years working experience. Apparently, touring across the country with a band doesn't count. We're going to try and figure something out...we might just have to rent. I really want that $8000 tax credit though!!!

I love craigslist!

Today I purchased almost a full set of cloth diapers for Bean, with covers that will last her up until she's about a year old. It even included 3 FuzziBunz diapers, and it was only $75.00! What a steal! I have written how I have wanted to go cloth for many reasons, it's more inexpensive in the long run, reduces your carbon footprint, etc...and I finally have! It took a little explaining to my husband, but he seems on board. I do most of the diaper changing anyways. I am really glad that we were able to purchase these!

Since we live in a 2 bedroom apartment and aren't moving until January, we don't have our own washer and dryer. I am thinking about hiring a diaper pickup/drop-off service until we move. I looked a few up today. I think the one we decided on was called Next Generation Baby. (http://www.nextgenerationbaby.com/page/page/2207388.htm) Their prices were relatively cheap when compared to how much we would be spending weekly doing laundry here.

Still debating on the whole work issue...this week I will have it figured out. I promised myself. We'll see how well that goes.

Diapers.

I have really wanted to go cloth for a while now, and this is the 2nd giveaway contest that I have entered! FuzziBunz again is giving away stuff! Amazing!

Here is a link to the giveaway:

http://justformeandyou2.blogspot.com/2009/09/fuzzibunz-diaper-review-and-giveaway.html

Here is a link to FuzziBunz:

http://www.fuzzibunz.com/

Wish me luck!

To Work, Or Not?

I have been really struggling with whether or not I want to go back to work. I went in to visit my bosses today, and I miss the place. The only factor that is keeping me from going back is that it would cost us $200 a week for her to be there. They don't offer a discount for the infant room because there is such a high demand for a spot, therefore I pay full price. Working 40 hours a week, after paying for her care, and before taxes I would only be making $520 a month. I can't imagine working full time there (teaching 4 year old kids all day drains me) and then coming home and getting up with her at night. I would never sleep, and pretty much would waste away. I'm certain of it.

My boss suggested that maybe since Josh doesn't start work until 9, that I could come in and open at 6 and pick her up from Josh when he got to work around 8:45. That way I could get a few hours in a day, and we wouldn't have to have her at my work. It's just so much money, and I would rather be home with her all day. She's still so small, and my heart misses her like crazy when I'm not with her. A few friends have offered, but their schedules don't really have much room in them for her. We'll figure something out. I have a couple more weeks before I have to decide anything. Pray for me, because this decision is really a tough one. I don't really know why though...

Not Happy.

This video makes me laugh! When Bean and I were on a walk this morning, she tried to sneeze, and couldn't. She makes this cute little "Oooh" sound and I was thinking as we walked, "I really wish I could get video of that." I did! It's one of my favorite things that she does, rightfully so.

Bean and I went to the grocery store today, and part of me really was thinking that things were going to go smoothly. I forget that I run on HER schedule, not mine. We were about 75% done shopping when she started to cry. With Bean there is no little cry, it goes from 0-60 very quickly. While I know that this cry is not serious, it sure sounds serious. She is just VERY dramatic already, and was telling the entire store that she was not happy. I had to hold her, steer the cart, and gather the rest of the items so we could leave. You should have seen some of the looks that I got. I was like, "Babies cry, it's okay." And as soon as we got in the car, she calmed down. I laugh, because I swear she just does this in public. Haha, she cracks me up.

I have been reading this blog called The Wonder Years. (http://mommyme-thewonderyears.blogspot.com/) It was started by a mom that teaches Montessori, and on her blog, she puts projects and activities that she does at home for her own kids. I used to teach a Montessori classroom, and it's very structured and all about learning, so when I saw this blog, I was really excited. Montessori is a really great way of teaching kids about exploration, and I can't wait to get to do these things with Bean.

Yikes.

Everything is running smoothly in the Johnson household. Bean is wonderful, still eating like a pig, and getting bigger by the day! Can't handle it.

I have to tell this story though, because this is the one moment since she has been here that I have literally thought that I was going to lose my mind. We were driving home from a prayer/worship night that Josh played in Glendale, and all of a sudden she starts crying. And not like little cries, this was like it was the end of the world. Keep in mind, we were coming from Glendale. She continues, all the while I'm hoping she calms down. It only gets WORSE. So I have to reach all the way in the backseat and plant my finger in her mouth. I'm on the freeway, trying not to drive like a jerk, with one hand on the wheel and the other in Bean's mouth! 20 minutes later we get home. I thought I was going to have a meltdown. They should make emergency lanes for babies with newborns freaking out. Haha. Oh the joys of motherhood, huh?

I am dreading going back to work. I really wish I could work from home, or were crafty enough to sell something on Etsy, something! I need a creative outlet. I'm thinking about teaching myself to crochet. Just in time for the holidays! I wish I could stay home for the first year or two, but financially I don't think I could. Especially if we want to buy a house at the end of the year. It will cost us $200 a week to have Bean at my work, (they don't offer discounts for the infant room) so I will be working full time for next to nothing. It will be nice having something to do, but full time for like $600 a month? I am still not sure if it's worth it. I love my job, but things have changed now that Bean is here. I need some help deciding.

Oh, and check this out too.

www.lulliloophotography.blogspot.com

Thanks Melodee!

Buns!

I read this blog called "Pacing the Panic Room." It's about a husband who started a blog when his wife was pregnant, capturing everyday and special moments and sharing them with the world. I found it incredibly inspiring, not only because his photography is AMAZING, but it made me feel a little more human reading about their worries and frustrations.

ANYWAYS, he has made a contest available to everyone to win Fuzzibunz cloth diapers! I have really wanted to go cloth, but can't afford the large upfront cost. They last till your child doesn't need to be in diapers anymore, and all you have to do is wash them! Check out Fuzzibunz.com. Their stuff is great!

I entered, so wish us luck!

Boogers.

Infant sinus issues are no joke.

It's like all I want to say to her is, "Blow your nose!" but she can't do that. Ha. I've been using her cool mist vaporizer, and lots of Vicks, but no relief yet. I bought her some Johnson's vapor bath so we'll be using that tonight. Here's hoping...I don't like when she is grumpy. She slept with us all last night because she just couldn't get comfortable. She's been off and on today, so I hope tonight she can get some relief and get some good solid sleep. And so Mommy can get some sleep too!

I am so excited for tomorrow!

My friend Crystal that I attend bible study asked me the other day if her sister could shoot some photos of Bean for her portfolio. I said of course, pictures are pictures, right? I was thinking that maybe she was someone just starting off, but after I looked her up online, I was sorely mistaken. She's actually incredible and I am really REALLY looking forward to having her take Bean's pictures. This is her website:

http://lulliloophotography.blogspot.com/

She has a philosophy when it comes to her pictures, it's all about making women feel beautiful. She shoots maternity pictures, infants, and just regular women. Her work is really wonderful, and I can't wait for tomorrow!

I found this cool website, Rollip that takes your regular photos and makes them into polaroids! I love it, since you can't find Polaroid film anymore!

www.rollip.com

Here is what I did:Don't you love them? I could spend all day converting all my photos into polaroids, too bad it would take forever!

On the other hand, Bean is wonderful. Today has been a better breastfeeding day. I think I have figured out a little trick to make it go a little smoother. I start her out with a bottle for a few seconds, just to get her to calm down, I remove it and then transfer her to the breast. It seems to work pretty well, so we'll see. Otherwise, she is amazing. She is starting to get much more alert, and even respond when I speak to her! She seems to be growing so fast.

Her doctors appointment went well. She gained her birth weight back, so she's back to 6 lbs. 13 oz. and gained a whole inch! She's 20 inches! In just over a week! I was amazed, but it made me a little sad. She's already growing up!