The lady at Toni & Guy academy said I was rockin' the mom bob. Really, was I? Harsh reality, let me tell you. She did a good job, and it's a little different. I am trying to grow it out, so a serious cut was not in the plans. It's good, I like it.

Last night we took a pregnancy test. I don't think that my body was telling me that we were pregnant again, but we had a "moment" a couple of weeks ago that had me thinking. I was just trying to get the thought out of my head, and (thankfully) it came back negative. Whoosh. I wouldn't mind it right now, but I would love to wait and be able to say, "We're trying to have a baby." It'd be nice to have it happen on purpose for once.

Having pregnancy around in my life makes me miss it though. My great friend Shanda is pregnant right now. She is almost 7 months. Every time I see her I can't wait for that little boy or girl to come out. The moment is incredible, and it changes the rest of your life. I think about the minute Bean was born, and the hours leading up to her birth and I get so excited for them. Labor was a challenge, but with every contraction we knew that we were one step closer to her. That's all that I could think about when the pain was too much. It was bringing her closer to me, and I couldn't wait. I remember telling my Dad that I couldn't believe that she was going to come from my body. It's the most mind boggling thing, and for the two of them to get to do that as well, oh man, I can barely contain myself. Sharing in a pregnancy, birth and life of a friend's child is a great privilege and one I am honored to be a part of.

I wouldn't mind being pregnant again, just think that it can wait a while. A long while. Shanda has a plan, and that plan is Christmas of 2011 her and I will both get pregnant, or be pregnant. Crazy idea, but we'll see I guess.

Our doctor the other day suggested that Bean have some blood work done. Here is why...

How is it used?

Prealbumin is ordered to help doctors detect and diagnose protein-calorie malnutrition in people who are critically or chronically ill and/or are at an increased risk for malnutrition. Protein deficiencies can occur with inadequate availability of dietary protein, decreased ability to digest protein, increased protein loss, and with increased protein requirements. They can affect the body's ability to heal, to fight infection, and can increase the risk of complications. With protein-calorie malnutrition, the body begins to break down muscle, protein, and body fat. Children with malnutrition may fail to thrive or have stunted growth.

The prealbumin test is ordered to make an assessment of nutritional status:

• Before a scheduled surgery
• In patients who are hospitalized with certain conditions
• In patients who are chronically ill

Many people have a decline in nutrition during their hospital stay, especially after surgery. Studies have shown that good nutrition prior to surgery helps to avoid complications, such as pneumonia and infection, after surgery. If the prealbumin test indicates that someone is malnourished or has a poor nutritional status, then corrective measures can be taken before surgery and periodic prealbumin tests can be ordered as necessary after surgery to monitor the person's status.

The prealbumin test may also be ordered to monitor changes in people who are receiving parenteral nutrition, such as intravenous treatment. It may be ordered to monitor changes in nutritional status in someone who is receiving hemodialysis, as part of treatment for kidney disease.

A prealbumin test may be ordered by itself or along with other tests such as albumin and transferrin to evaluate nutritional status. The prealbumin test is not available in every laboratory; for this reason, an albumin test may sometimes be ordered instead of a prealbumin.

When is it ordered?

A doctor orders a prealbumin test when signs of malnutrition or poor nutrition are present or when a person is at risk for protein deficiency. Signs of malnutrition include unintended weight loss, stunted growth in a child, weakened resistance to infection, or being unable to think clearly. Hair may become brittle or begin to fall out, the skin may be dry or yellowish, muscles may feel weak, and fainting spells may occur. In younger women, menstrual periods may stop.

A prealbumin and/or albumin test may be ordered prior to surgery and whenever someone is being treated for a chronic or critical illness that may cause malnutrition. A doctor may order a prealbumin periodically to monitor someone with a low prealbumin result and to evaluate the effectiveness of treatment.

What does the test result mean?

The prealbumin measurement reflects the current state of a person's nutrition. If prealbumin is low, other proteins and nutrients in the blood may also be low.

Decreased concentrations of prealbumin may be seen in patients with:

• Severe or chronic illness, such as cancer
• Hyperthyroidism
• Liver disease
• Serious infections
• Certain digestive disorders

Low levels of prealbumin are also seen with inflammation. When inflammation and malnutrition are both present, prealbumin levels can rapidly fall to very low levels and their interpretation can be more difficult. 

Increased concentrations of prealbumin may be seen in people with:

• High-dose corticosteroid therapy
• Hyperactive adrenal glands
• High-dose nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications
• Hodgkin's disease
• Kidney failure

The prealbumin test is not typically used to monitor these conditions.

He walked into the room the other day and commented that Violet's skin was a little yellow. He did not say this alarmingly, more with a laugh I guess to make me feel more comfortable. He said it was from the keratines in the vegetables that she was eating. It wasn't. He started talking about all of these tests that he wanted her to get. Blood work. CBC, and this prealbumin test. I did some digging and looked up what all of these tests meant. He did not give me a straight answer at the office. All of these tests are to check for malnutrition!! He asked me what our feeding habits are, what she was eating, that sort of thing. She eats like a horse, yet has not gained any weight since her last appointment. I am not sure if this is something to be worried about, or to go and get these tests even though they seem completely ridiculous.

I am thankful for my husband. And for the iPhone.

I love little things, and this is just another one of them.

I found this today while reading Pacing the Panic Room. The author is doing a tribute album for his stepson that they endearingly call LB (Littlest Buddy.) He has SMS and is 6 or 7. The stories that Ryan writes about him are great and it really makes you feel like you know this family. He is known for his very popular maternity series and is now doing another series called "Walk to 40 Weeks." I think his blog is great. I read it everyday, and can't get enough. Between the pictures and the stories, it's fantastic.

Here is a link to the post. I highly suggest reading it.

HERE.

A woman named Anna Bond is doing the album artwork for him. I stopped by her website and couldn't get enough. It's beautiful and personalized, what a treat! I would love to order some of her cards and stationary just to look at. There are so many things that I wish I could go back and use in my wedding, and her products are one of them.

Rifle Paper Co.

ENJOY!

Rx.

I'm over seeing a regular pediatrician.

I have begun the search for a naturopathic pediatrician. I can't deal with the shots anymore. I'm not one of those mothers that freaks out about immunizations, I'm just not really for them. Violet has had some shots. The average amount of shots an infant receives in the first year is something like 21. Every time that we would go, she would get 4. One in each leg, and two orally. It broke my heart. So she had the MMR rounds, which is the only series that I thought she should have. All those other I didn't care for.

The more and more I deal with things naturally, the more I feel better about it. I recently had mastitis. That kind of thing could be fought naturally, but it was so bad that I chose to receive antibiotics. I will go the same way with her. I would like to treat things naturally as much as I can, and if intervention is absolutely necessary, then we'll go ahead and use them. Most of the time it isn't. It stirs up a lot of arguments. Some people I tell think it's ridiculous. Just like when I wanted to have a homebirth. Hah, most laughed in my face. I wasn't able to because of previous issues with Cameron. But I wanted to!!! I think in the long run it will be much better for Violet, and Josh is supportive. He just wants the pros/cons list first. Skeptical...I like that.

We'll check more into it, and I'll update with a final decision. (We're just waiting to see if it's covered by our insurance.)

27.

Happy Birthday my love.

Everyday with you is spending everyday with my best friend. You literally are the best. I could not love you more. It might kill me.

Here's to 27!

I think this is such a great idea for parents. Especially busy parents. I'm following along and making my own poem and printing it out. I think it will help us both remember that we love each other so much amidst all the craziness in our lives.

Thanks Young House Love for this post!

Recommendations.

Gosh, this blog always makes me cry. This family is INCREDIBLE.

Check it out.

BLEH.

I have been blessed with mastitis.

I feel like I am going to DIE.

On Thursday night, I felt fine all day. My left breast was a little sore, I just thought that it might be too full. I made sure to feed Bean a lot on that side, didn't work. Around 6:30 I was feeding her again, and by this time I had to stop and switch sides because it hurt so bad. At 7, I had come down with a fever of 100. I instantly knew that I had mastitis, a super gnarly breast infection. It usually only affects one breast, and my left one was chosen. I thought that I would be fine the next day, but it was worse. Thank God my husband stayed home. I called into work and spent the entire day on the couch. I felt fatigued and was running a fever close to 103 all day. I have never felt so terrible in my life. I called my OB with some advice from a friend, was given a prescription. I guess it's not supposed to kick in for 48 hours. 48 hours?! It was like I just heard that one of my limbs was going to be severed from my body.

I woke up this morning, took a really hot shower and ate some breakfast. I feel a tad bit better, but still running a fever and can barely stand up. Let me tell you, with a baby that constantly wants to be stood up, sat down, moved; it's hard work. I am just praying that there is no abcess, otherwise I will most likely have to stop breastfeeding. If you haven't had mastitis, or plan on nursing I would do some reading. I never knew what it was until a friend of mine and some family members told me they had it. Thanks to them I immediately could identify what it was and nip it in the bud. Read up on it, it will come in handy, promise!

I just hope that I can feel better soon.

Memory.

Last night I attended a surprise birthday dinner for my best friend Taryn. She is a nanny, along with several other of my friends. They were talking about the other day when Taryn was leaving school in the minivan she picks the kids up in. It started a conversation about how new moms want a car that is more sleek, but still kid friendly. We have to look cool right? Mom talks, they always end up making me laugh.

It made me start thinking about having more babies, and the babies I have already had. I suppose it's going to happen. It's not in our plan right now but when I think about making a plan, I laugh. Cameron wasn't in the plan. Bean was definitely not in the plan. I can't wait to be able to say, "Yeah, we're trying for a baby." Surprises aren't so terrible, but when you are 18 and have no way to raise one, it's not a good one. Bean was different. I was in a place to where I knew that she would be provided for. I could do something different this time, and I did.

Back story: Cameron is my 4 year old son. His dad and I split up when he was 6 months old. I pretty much raised him on my own for a year, and after seeing that I no longer could give him what he needed he was adopted to a family in California. When his dad left, I was only working part-time. I quickly got 2 more jobs and was working all the time just to try and take care of his immediate needs. I wasn't receiving much help from anyone, and was his primary care giver. At 19, working 3 jobs and raising a son on your own was pretty much impossible. He was with my best friends Mom most days when he wasn't with the home daycare provider he had. Everyone was doing the best that they could, but I think even then, he didn't deserve what was being given to him (in my opinion). There was a lot of fighting and stress, and I hated that he had to go through that. I wasn't in the best frame of mind, therefore couldn't care for him the way that he needed to be cared for. There were days when I decided that he would eat instead of me, and how to keep the electric company from turning off the power. I told myself when his dad left that if I ever thought that the situation was unfair to him, I would do something to change it. This decision prompted a huge detachment from my family. Several of us didn't speak for almost 2 years because of the decision I had made. It hurt my family a lot, and it hurt me that they felt that way. Granted, I didn't make all the best decisions in the world. I know that. But I was trying my best. He needed better than what I could give at the time. He didn't deserve to be pulled and pushed in all directions and that's what I felt was going on.

Here is a current picture of him. Seeing how happy he is makes me feel SO great.


Here he is before he left:

I never take days for granted with Bean anymore. I will hold her every second that I can. I will love her more everyday. I will do everything in my power to make sure that she is taken care of FOREVER. I had to make better for Cam because I wasn't able to at the time. I don't ever want to go through that ever again. When she screams sometimes I just think to myself, "I would miss this if she was gone."

This post was not meant to glorify my decision. This is my perspective of the things that happened while he was here. It is not mean to hurt, attack or discredit anyone that helped out, offered advice, or contributed their time, money and love to he and I. Thank you for those of you that did help, I really appreciate it. It may all seem in vain because he is still gone, but not true, I look back on it and am thankful.

GBG.

Check this site out:

Green Baby Guide

The authors behind "Eco-nomical Baby Guide" show you how to declutter, make organic baby food and tons more goodies. I was really into the website, trying to make my own home greener and safer for Bean. I love their posts, each as helpful as the one before. It's a great "how to get started" website. It offers great insight and advice, to which I listened and enjoyed.

Go take a look!

I'm glad I married Josh.

We make beautiful babies.

This afternoon was a great one.

Changes.

Let the weirdness begin.

Tonight I spent some time at a friends house for a BBQ. Josh was off playing his weekend gig, so I went with Bean by myself. I spent a large majority of the night sitting on the couch, just me and Bean. I was looking through the sliding glass door outside, to where all my friends were thinking, "Gosh, it's begun." It's weird to be a the first in a large group of friends to get married and to have babies. We're in our early to mid-twenties, so a lot of us are still going out and staying out late, that sort of thing. I got married and had a child, and it's different.

I guess I have been feeling a little "left out" for lack of a better term. I feel like I don't relate to anyone anymore. My days are diapers and errands, their days are well...different. Maybe it's just me creating a something out of nothing but tonight sure made it feel like something. I feel like I'm a 40 year old hanging out with twenty-somethings. It's an awkward feeling. I have a select few great friends that are with me in this. One is pregnant, the other has a son that's Bean's age (I'm not as close with her as I'd like to be) and that's it. I love being a mom, don't get me wrong, but I didn't expect a shift like this. I know that I can't go out anymore, I have to take care of a baby and work and do school, so yeah I'm busy, but can't we at least take time to talk to each other? Is keeping in touch that difficult? I am guilty of being busy and not putting a ton of effort into my friendships, but how can I? I feel like the gap cannot be bridged, but I'm secretly hoping it can be. I didn't write this to make anyone read it, or to secretly hope that someone would read it. I guess I'm just hoping that other new moms have felt like this too. I wouldn't trade Bean for anything, I just miss my friends is all.

GREAT.

Bean's Room.

Some of my favorites shots I took today of Bean's room. It's my version of a house tour Apartment Therapy style!

I couldn't help myself. She was sleeping so soundly.

New!

Hobbies

If you have visited my Etsy site, please "heart" me! I would love to know who is looking and who isn't! If you haven't checked it out yet, please do so! I am kind of combining my hobbies and involving them in each other. Etsy meet blog, blog meet Etsy.

Thank you!

Work.

We all know that when it comes to being a Mom, it's not the easiest job in the world.

When I was pregnant with Bean, visions of grandeur and having the most perfect life were in my head. It's so simple to carry on thoughts such as these, because it's you and your partner. The days are for the most part worry-free and the pregnancy carries on. Then the best day of your life comes, your baby is born, and life goes on. Nothing is about you anymore, everything is about your little one. Rightfully so, they do require a lot of attention. Slowly but surely I have noticed a shift in my household. When it was just the two of us, it was about us. We have become more distant, make less time for each other, but love one another more than we ever have before.

It's not just about making time for yourself, it's about making time for each other. We rarely get a moment to ourselves, let alone a whole night. As I told my friend who is 6 months pregnant, please make sure that you make time for each other. Write notes, give compliments, GO ON A DATE once in a while. I have not been following my own advice lately, and keep making excuses for not leaving my baby but we NEED the time. My husband wants the wife he married just for one night, not the mom. I get that, and I respect it. It's time to find a sitter and put a dress on. My man needs some time.

We have also been encouraging each other to pick a night of the week to have for ourselves. Whether it's spent at home or out doing whatever, I think it will help rejuvenate us as spouses and as parents. We shouldn't feel burdened to play the role as parents, and we need to be 100% to give 100%. A free night out while the other watches the baby is the plan, and I think it's going to work great. No guilt trips from the other person, no complaining, just support and a "have a good time!" I'm sure I will have updates about all of this soon.

Mobile.

She's rolling!

Hearts.

I'm secretly hoping for something like this. My husband doesn't have the time or access to such beautiful flowers to do something like this, but gosh, isn't it pretty? I love flowers, and what a great way to give them on Valentine's Day!

Or how about these for your Valentine?

The company Leaf Cutter Designs has come up with the "worlds smallest valentines package." Isn't that a great idea, and so cute? I love that it's a valentine, yet completely nontraditional. I think this would a great DIY idea for classmates valentine's, or even to your husband of wife. I came across this and had to post it. I think it's SUPER adorable. Keeping this in my head for future craft projects with Bean.

Thanks Design Sponge for the wonderful posts!